This is lifted from a Ukrainian hosting Facebook page with permission of it’s author – Luke Hall. It’s advice for hosts regarding one to one contact with Ukrainians.
You should ask whatever you feel gives you the broadest perspective about them as people.
However, be sensitive and remember that these people are fleeing for their lives and are likely to be deeply upset, shocked and probably traumatized by their experience so far.
Remember, that their perspective is likely to be a world away from yours right now and it’s highly likely that what may seem like friendly enquiring on your part may feel overwhelming for them.
Don’t lose sight of that fact that you’re offering them emergency sanctuary and not trying to match them for a holiday letting or as room mates. Go slowly and don’t bombard them with questions. Simply make it clear that you wish to help them by whatever means you can and that their needs are ultimately your priority.
The responses they give, particularly via text chat will often seem short, abrupt and incomplete, even from those with very good English. Don’t interpret this as being evasive or impolite, as for most of them, ‘chatting’ via text, in English, with strangers under such circumstances is a very un-natural situation for them to be in.
You should also assume the best of them and not harbour the suspicion that they are fraudulent, as this will inevitably come across in your tone whether you know it or not. As in our country, Ukrainians are used to a comfortable modern and fairly affluent lifestyle, so finding themselves in the situation where they have nothing and are begging strangers in a foreign country for help is deeply awkward, frightening and embarrassing for them.
Be reassuring without being pushy. If they have children, be mindful that they will be very concerned about their welfare. Talk to your local school head teacher and ask if they have space for the children. Most schools have not yet received any guidance or support from local government but they should be able to get the ball rolling for you. This can be very reassuring for the family you are talking to.
Ideally, see if they’ll have a voice chat with you, assuming you have a common language. You’ll learn a lot more about them in 5 minutes of chatting than you will via endless text exchanges.
Avoid making demands or ultimatums regarding proof of their identity and circumstances. The essential details will reveal themselves in good time and they’ll be happy to provide them when they feel comfortable doing so.
Your offer of support should be unconditional within the boundaries of what you can offer, just make those boundaries clear from the onset. Ultimately, you are offering them your help voluntarily, whereas they are asking because they have no alternative. You are not interviewing them for a job and they don’t owe you anything.
To be a successful host (by that I mean you are ultimately saving someone’s life and giving them a safe secure sanctuary) you are going to encounter numerous difficulties, expenses, frustrations, emotions and fundamental inconveniences. It’s going to require that you spend a lot of time doing your research, making phone calls, filling in forms and being very flexible and understanding. All of this comes with the territory and you’ll need to embrace it fully without caveat.
Do some research among your friends and contacts and find out if there are any resident Ukrainians living locally to you that you can contact. They can be an invaluable source of information and will help you to get a better, more complete understanding of Ukrainian people.